beneaththemedicinetree
sometimes i feel like... im moving in slow motion. like im moving in slow motion and everything around me is moving so fast and i just wanna go back... to when things were normal... when i wasnt like that. but i am, so i cant. and im.. just stuck. and theres all this pressure cause you are hovering around me waiting for me to do something or say some thing or flip out or yell or cry some more and im happy to play my part. im happy to say the lines and do what ever it is that im supposed to be doing if it will make everyone feel more comfortable... but i dont know how to do this. i dont know how to be this person. i dont know who this person is.
ever heard of romeo and juliet? well everyone thinks its brilliant. well, i think juliet was an idiot. for one thing, she falls for the one guy she knows she cant have... everyone thinks its so romantic: romeo and juliet, true love... how sad. if juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink a bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum, then she deserved everything she got.
but someone once explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window. maybe romeo and juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. if they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay. I told that someone that when i was grown up, id take fate into my own hands. i wouldnt let some guy drag me down. that person said that id be lucky if i ever had that kind of passion with someone, and if i did, we would be together forever. even now, i believe that for the most part, love is about choices. its about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending... most of the time. and sometimes, despite all your best intentions, fate wins anyway.
&i'm leaving through the window
yours truly
